I made the decision to own my story. I would confide in people I trusted. I was surprised how many people had experiences with depression, anxiety, or other mental illnesses or knew someone who did. I read books on mental illness and emotional intelligence so I could recognize my symptoms while they were happening.
My specialty is saying exactly what’s on my mind when I lose my temper. In a manic outburst, I can deliver a message with stunning clarity and laser precision. My words are a shot to the center of the heart. I’ve lost friends. I’ve worked extremely hard on this, and it rarely happens now. Nevertheless, I have a history.
Tomorrow will be a fresh start, another day to keep trying. Tomorrow there’s always a possibility of sunshine. Just keep trying. I try to tell myself this every day. Most of the time while crying so much it physically hurts. It seemed to come out of nowhere, like an invisible raging storm. It’s so … Continue reading Personal Story: This Is Me And I’m Not Ashamed
OCD has made it difficult to be a teacher because I am so afraid of what the day will bring. That said I continue to teach and have not given up on getting better. I would like people to realize that there is so much more to OCD than just a few compulsions: It is a serious disorder that greatly impacts the lives of those affected.
Yes. Depression. It’s real, and no, it’s not something people can just “snap out of.” I want to start off by just providing some key facts about depression before delving into my personal experience dealing with it and how I finally recovered.
I was finally given the diagnosis of bipolar disorder. That was a huge breakthrough for me. It made the way I felt and the severe mood swings I would experience feel validated. There was a reason. I now had words to explain what I was going through: mania, depression, hypomania.
My parents never directly told us that Grandma had died by suicide. My sister and I simply figured it out from overhearing hushed conversations. My grandpa had passed away two years earlier, and the stark difference between how the two losses were handled in my home was not lost on my 13-year-old self. It became clear immediately that we would no longer be discussing grandma, ever.
08.08.17 I have struggled with my thoughts for as long as I can remember. In elementary school, I would think about suicide before I even knew what suicide was. I never planned my future or said what I wanted to be when I grew up because I didn’t think I would ever get there. In … Continue reading Personal Story: Please Live
I wasn’t suicidal. I’m grateful my flavor of depression doesn’t bring me there. But I was consistently what I call “exhausted on a cellular level.” No amount of sleep really made a difference. Still, like a junkie, I craved it for its escape.
It wasn’t until my thirties that I was diagnosed with panic disorder and agoraphobia. Maybe if I’d learned more about mental health when I was a teenager, I would’ve received treatment much earlier. I could have been saved twenty years of struggling with mental illness in silence.